Here is the first part of our compilations.
Please send us your stories.
Enjoy! And submit your own stories.
My daughters Ellie and Liza are seven and four, respectively.
Liza: First you graduate from daycare.
Ellie: Yeah, and then you graduate from school and college.
Liza: And then you go on to get a job, but you cannot graduate from there.
Ellie: Why not??
Liza: I don’t know, but you can never leave your job.
This one time, we were on the bus, and a mother and her son, about 5 years of age, sat in front of us. I overheard them talking and had a hard time trying not to laugh out loud.
“Mommy, why do people grow up?”
“Well, you know. That’s just life. You’ll grow up, too.”
“But I don’t want to!”
“Why not? Being a grown-up is a lot of fun!”
“You can’t really tell that by looking at dad, though…”
“Hey, what ‘magic’ words do you know, Helen?”
“I know ‘thank you’, ‘please’, and ‘give me that right now’.”
She is two. Bless her!
My friend says to her teenage boy, “Aren’t you sick and tired of sitting in front of your computer all day? Go outside, catch some Pokémons or something!”
Jenny: I know I’ll have a little brother soon!
Her friend: Oh, how do you know?
Jenny: Last time when mommy was away in the hospital, she came back with a baby sister. This time it’s daddy who’s away in the hospital, so he must bring back a baby boy!
“Remember, son: I’m the boss in the family!”
“Dad, but does mom know?”
“Hush! We don’t tell her!”
A woman walks up to an ATM with a little boy aged five or so. She says, “Okay, let’s just take some money out and visit that store you wanted.”
She inserts her bankcard and gets some cash. The boy is impressed and asks her quietly, “Is dad sitting inside or something?”
I was walking past a playground once when I saw a poster on the fence, saying, “Somebody’s child here exchanged their blue rubber ball for my son’s bike on May 12. Can you please call [number here]…”
That boy is going places.
I was giving my son a piggyback horse ride. He rode for quite some time, and then I hit my pinky toe against the leg of the table and screamed. The horse-rider got off my back and asked in a tragic voice, “Horsey, does it hurt?”
“Will you be able to give me another ride?”
“Don’t think so!”
“Shame. Will have to put you down then.”
I asked my nephew how old his dad – my brother – was.
“He’s six,” he replied.
“What? How can he only be six?!…”
“Well, he only became my dad when I was born six years ago, right?”
Johnny: Mom, I’m gonna clean the streets for a living when I grow up.
Me: Oh, how come?
Johnny: I’ll get lots of fresh air, being outside all day, and be real healthy!